2 Samuel 6:20, David Dances Naked

//King David was bringing the Ark of the Covenant home to Jerusalem when the oxen stumbled, and a fellow named Uzzah reached out to steady the Ark. Immediately, God smote him, and David grew angry. And probably a bit nervous. He left the Ark with another fellow named Obed-Edom, and went home without it.

Presumably, Obed was smart enough not to touch the thing, so instead, the Ark’s mere presence brought him blessing. When David heard that Obed prospered because of the Ark, David went back after it.

They loaded it up and took six steps, enough for David to prove that God wasn’t in a smiting mood anymore, so David rejoiced and sacrificed a bull and a fat calf. Wearing a linen ephod (which is like an apron, with no back), he “danced before the Lord with all his might.” He was still leaping and dancing when they arrived with the Ark in Jerusalem.

This shameful happy-dance nauseated Michal, Saul’s daughter, who was watching out a window. When she confronted King David, he shrugged it off, insisting that the slave girls continued to hold him in high honor.

So which side did God take? The happy naked dancer or the prude? The Bible says Michal was stricken with barrenness, and never had a child until the day she died.

The Bible never does say why, though. I suppose we’re supposed to understand God took David’s side and cursed her womb, but her barrenness probably had more to do with her prudishness…which can tend to have an effect on whether one bears children!